What resistance is teaching me
Christmas happened almost a month ago and it completely derailed me. I regained 6.6lbs and the physical and mental toll are not to be denied. Yet I try and look at the positive: I am still down 2.2lbs from when I re-started my program in November and this time round I am looking for the lessons instead of beating myself up:
1. Honoring my program has to be an every-day priority
I finally realized that there is no time-off on my program. While there is a dieting component this is not a diet per se, it's a lifestyle change to help me lose weight and learn to eat more intuitively and reconnect with my body. I have to make these changes important all the time. Sean Anderson, who lost more than 300 lbs, has a very interesting approach in this respect: he calls it his "parallel streams" philosophy. He keeps his "life stream and fundamental elements stream" parallel so that they never cross over into each other. Which is when things usually go pearshaped. His fundamental elements stream is where he takes care of himself through his diet, exercise, faith and support network. The life stream is, well, life. All the things that happen, big or small. Keeping the two separate allows him to maintain his loss. This makes so much sense to me. And makes me understand that to succeed at this I need to make my own 'fundamental elements' important every day, regardless of what happens in my life, like the event of Christmas for instance!
2. It is ok to feel disappointed
While I am not beating myself up I am allowing myself to feel disappointed. Feeling my feelings is a big part of this journey and that includes feeling bad when I've allowed the life stream to interfere with the fundamental elements stream. Giving myself permission to feel bad helps me move through this part.
3. It's never about the food
My resistance to resuming my program after Christmas is firmly placed in my anxieties that want to be soothed. I am, for the first time ever (because I loathe medication of any kind) considering meds for my anxieties. Because food is just not the answer anymore and I am conceding that I might need more help here. I'll talk to my GP and take it from there.
4. Know your triggers
In addition to my anxieties stress is also a big trigger for me and the last four years of steady growth have meant a fair amount of stress. I love my business and 2018 was a very successful year but I do need to make some changes to find a better work-life balance. The stress after Christmas has been mostly things that I am still wrapping up from last year (like my bookkeeping that I haven’t done in 5 months!) and once those are out of the way I will be able to breathe a little easier again. Alas, as with point 1 above, I need to learn to keep my ‘life’ stressors parallel to my own ‘fundamental care elements’, i.e. this program.
5. What I was doing worked
What didn’t work was going off my program to have ‘some fun’ over Christmas. When I am dieting intuitively I am not only eating well, feeling satisfied and losing weight (slowly and that’s good) I also feel more focused and present. It works.
I am back on calorie counting and working on my first email for the Resistance to Resilience program. This program is very much a work in progress and will be built as we go along. My wish for this program is to create something that helps people like myself who have a lot of weight to lose and who’ve gotten lost amongst the noise of the diet and anti-diet brigades. I am looking for a long-term solution that helps me lose the weight and keep it off, while also becoming an intutive eater. I’d love for you join me, it’s free!